I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
