i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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