Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
