We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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