I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
