I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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