Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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