I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
