she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
