so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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