Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
