I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
