Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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