i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can you bring me the toilet please
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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