so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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