Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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