Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
