**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
