I wish I could teleport
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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