batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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