Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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