i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
