got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
