If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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