I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
