Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
