So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize