just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
