I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
