That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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