I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
