I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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