i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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