So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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