Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
