I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
