And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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