Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
