they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
