Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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