There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
