do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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