I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
