At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
