you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Couch. On fire.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
