talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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