Your tits are I can't wait for
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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