how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
