I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
