She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
