so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
