Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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