summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
