i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
