We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
