Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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