let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Let's paint friendship bongs
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
