would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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