So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
