Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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